Man's best friend

My best friend is probably the one whom I always take for granted. It's a sad fact, but I do believe we share a special bond.

On my seventh birthday I got my friend - Juba. He was in a box and my mom called me to my room. I thought it must be some new clothes and I tugged on the box. When it opened out jumped this tiny puppy.  I was momentarily shocked and didn't comprehend that there was a puppy in the box. Juba instantly knew where to jump too - in my arms and welcomed me into his life.

My parent's must have had faith in me that I could look after him - I did for a while, but after that I kinda neglected him.

After the departure of the monster dog my brother bought to us one day, Juba was allowed back into our house. My mom couldn't handle the two dogs in home at the same time, and banned them both to the back yard. I wasn't pleased with this - my dog was not one to live outside in a kennel. But, notheless. He survived and was allowed back into the house.

He then grew on my dad again. My dad and Juba grew a bond that is very unbreakable now. Juba and I were like two little brothers. Fighting and playing.

The years have walked on with us, and so with Juba. He is no longer the spring chicken he was a few years ago. He is now blind in both eyes, deaf and had a stroke a few weeks ago. I want to cry when I think of it. We all don't want him to suffer - but we all can't get it over ourselves to put him to sleep.

Juba has been the only one to greet me with a smile when I get home, to cuddle with me when I am sick, to sit with me when I was in trouble and try and bite my mom if she tried spanking me. He was my guardian angel in a way - the friend I wouldn't ever give up.

Last year, I lost quite a few people in my life. Nobody died, but everyone left. I had to deal with that pain on it's own. The fear of Juba leaving me is the thing that is gnawing away slowly on me. I can tell my friends, I will be fine, but I know I will crack sooner or later. It might seem stupid - he was only a dog. But no. He was a friend. One that many people can learn from.

For now, Juba is enjoying his "retirement" and I make a point of it of greeting him every time I leave.

To the best "friends" out there  - a big applause for being there.

It was the great author, Edith Wharton who said: "My little dog - a heartbeat at my feet."

Wedding bells...

Okay. Let me first state that I still have a couple of years to go, but this entry to my blog is just some personal debate I had with myself about weddings.

The veil. The bouquet. The doves. The confetti. I do love an occasional wedding, even if it is watching The Style Network to feast my hunger on some poor girl's best day for the rest of her life. I think it must be the majestic power of a wedding that draws me towards it.

This can also be a possible explanation for me digging up my parent's wedding photo's every now and then. I know they do fight a lot now and then and it's not like it was 30 odd years ago, but I love the expressions and the whole drawn-togetherness of the crowd.

I just hate it that I sometimes don't believe in marriage as an answer to everything. I want to be the guy who believes in that, but life has proven me otherwise.

Let's check the divorce rate. Last year a staggering 167 000 people got married in South Africa alone. Out of those couples one out of five couples ended up in the divorce court.

Unplanned pregnancy. Let's get married.

We have been together so long. Next logical step?

Just on one of my little trips on Facebook, I went through an old friend of mine's photo's. I came upon a wedding she went to. I immediately feasted myself on the intricate details. Making note and criticizing every possible detail. Until I noticed something.

Weddings these days are so based upon costs and money and time that the really necessary stuff is cut on. I mean. It is the day of your life that you are never going to be able to do-over and you want to just keep cutting on costs, and try and get married as soon as possible. Most weddings take this form these days. It's like the couple want's to get it over and done with. Like serious now. I mean. It is the day you get joined by a sacred bond of union and you want to have paper roses instead of roses grown in a pristine garden somewhere along the West Coast. OH! You want to compromise on the wedding dress to buy and expensive entrée meal for one guest. FFS! No invitations? What is this? A paperless world?

There is this thing called, saving up. And whilst you save up - get to know your partner a lil bit more. You are going to have death do you part, if not a paper stating you are divorced.

This whole debate could seem totally stupid, but if you get what I am saying, then all is well ;-)

Maybe I should become a wedding planner...

Here it is: 2011's Theme Song

Avril Lavigne - What The Hell

You say that I'm messing with your head

All cause I was making out with your friend
Love hurts whether it's right or wrong
I can't stop cause I'm having too much fun

You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I've been good,
But now
I'm thinking What The Hell
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now
Whoaaa...
What The Hell

So what if I go out on a million dates
You never call or listen to me anyway
I'd rather rage than sit around and wait all day
Don't get me wrong
I just need some time to play

You're on your knees
Begging please
Stay with me
But honestly
I just need to be a little crazy

All my life I've been good,
But now
I'm thinking What The Hell
All I want is to mess around

And I don't really care about
If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now
Whoaaa...
What The Hell

Lalalala la la
Whoa Whoa
Lalalala la la
Whoa Whoa

You say that I'm messing with your head
Boy, I like messing in your bed
Yeah, I am messing with your head when
I'm messing with you in bed

All my life I've been good,
But now
I'm thinking What The Hell
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
All my life I've been good,
But now
I'm thinking What The Hell
All I want is to mess around
And I don't really care about
If you love me
If you hate me
You can save me
Baby, baby
All my life I've been good
But now
Whoaaa...
What The Hell

Lalalalalalalalalala
Lalalalalalalalala

Knowing when to give up

When I was younger, my mom told me that I was force to be reckoned with when it came to giving up on something. I never knew when to give up. My mom use to be astounded with how I could cling onto the last bit of a situation of something till there was no more, or I couldn't go any further. She still reminds me that I never knew when to give up. 

It was not that I didn't know when to give up. I just always realized that I could fight until there was nothing left to fight for. 

It's like that these days too. It's always like I never know when to give up on something. Most times it get's the better of me.  

Even after a recent break-up. I forced myself to leave the person. I left and walked way and kept walking. But then, it did eventually catch up to me. I turned around and went back. Again I couldn't give up on something. 

When my best friend Chené told me the following: "Giving up is not a sign of weakness," it stuck with me. While heading back, I kept this in mind. 

And now I'm giving up. This time I actually knew when to give up. It doesn't make me weak. It doesn't make me pathetic. It just makes me smart and grown up. 

Knowing when to give up... It's a form of art. A skill that should be required.

When a scandal bubbles...

"OMFG!"


It is most probably the first words out of your mouth when that bomb drops. You didn't expect it, yet it was bound to happen. Everybody knows that a scandal bubbling is bound to spill over...


I've been the victim of many slanderous scandal bombs that was dropped on my head. Most of time I was not seeking for the scandal to be dropped open in public.


Okay. Everybody has secrets. It's a universal rule to have secrets right? It was once said by a famous queen:


Do not tell secrets to those whose faith and silence you have not already tested.
Elizabeth I 

Queen Elizabeth was well known, so one can assume that she knew what she was mumbling on about. 

The media thrives on secrets and scandal most days as to sell newspapers or magazines. Most people want to know what happened and in a sort of lost moment they forget about their own crappy lives and move to the scandal that makes them smirk and pitch their noses in the air - a sign of disapproval and judgement.

I won't lie - I do love an odd scandal on it's time. Should it involve me and something major, I am usually the one who get's angry, but I always forget about the reversed role-thing. 

Society and some people (not pointing any fingers) should try and step down and accept a scandal will eventually happen to them too. 

When a scandal bubbles... It brews and brews and spills over and then the shit strikes the fan. 

New year. New Start?

"Operation Self-esteem: Day fucking one..." - Eat Pray Love

I've always marveled at people who come New Years Eve, suddenly has a list of resolutions for the coming year. "I want to quit smoking." "Lose 10 kg." "Go overseas."

Let's face it. It usually sticks to you for a week and then... you loose the instant thought of what you initially planned on following through for a whole year.

I did try making a list once in High School. It lasted three weeks and after that I just tore it up and threw my hands up in the air. It wasn't that it was too much work. I just sort of got bored.

Okay. So 2010 was not my best year, but I look back at it now and think that I wouldn't regret anything that happened to me during the year. My life changed in a major way. I was forced to grow up, put my big boy shoes on and go on in to the big world. And all that after I just had a major soft Persian carpet ripped out from under my feet and I was forced to mend my broken heart.

I got to learn more about myself and see me for who I might be. I'm still 20 and I've pretty much got time to figure myself out, but my friends all know me as the person who has always had my head screwed on tight. Driven. One sight. One goal.

All I had at the end of 2010 on my new year's list was the following: New Year. New Start.

Come 1 January 2011 and the proved to be impossible. Too much of the past year came around again in a matter of a few days and I knew by myself that this was just like that old saying: the past never stays in the past.

But - 2011 is still new. New year. New Start?